Tips and Tricks for the Zombie Apocalypse

I realized I haven't written enough about zombie safety. I'm sitting here watching horror movies as I'm cooking and cleaning, and thought I should take a break to help the public. These are just my rules based on observation, and feel free to add your own. We'll need to stick together when the time comes, so it's best to share our knowledge. Since I'm watching The Strangers (freaky as hell), the same rules apply to general horror movie scenarios.

• Cardio. Yes, I stole it from Zombieland, in a way, but the principle is the same. You'll need to be able to run if the situation arises. You may not have a working vehicle. You might need to run to your vehicle. Either way, get in shape. The verdict is out as to whether or not zombies really can run, so it's better not to bank on them moping along in traditional zombie fashion.

• Shoes. This is related to cardio. Ladies (and gents), you should always have sensible shoes. If not on your feet, then close at hand. If you're trying to run barefoot or on heels through the woods, you're zombie feed. It's that simple. Invest in a good pair of boots. Hiking boots work, and I also like tactical boots made by Bates or Hi-Tek.
• Weapons. Guns are a must. Re-read your Zombie Survival Guide to get the lowdown on which are better for your particular situation, but you need 'em. Learn to improvise weapons as well. Think like MacGuyver. Long weapons are better to keep them at a distance - fire axe, spade, etc. But they must be sharp! 

• Pockets. Make sure you have clothing with pockets available. Cargo pants, utility vests, and so on. You'll need to carry ammo on the run, along with other essentials. A backpack may fall off or weigh you down.
• Cell Phones. Buy extra batteries and keep them charged. Granted, if the network falls, they'll do nothing for you, but in your psycho killer situation, the victim's battery is always dead or near dead.
• Food. This is where stockpiling comes in handy. By using coupons and sales fliers to your advantage, you can easily build a good stockpile of canned goods, soups, health and beauty stuff. This is all valuable. If you've seen the Book of Eli, you'll know that wet naps = $$$! Include batteries in your stockpile. You may need them for radios and lanterns. 

I think that's a good start for now. Don't get overwhelmed. Stay alert, and be prepared!

Cheapskate Sunday

While the husband was doing some work in the garage, I thought I'd do some cooking and puttering around. First up was to make dog treats. Simple, cheap, easy.

I took one lonely sweet potato, and introduced it to Mr.Mandoline. This is the one I have; only cost about $10, but it is SO handy.

 

I sliced it up, put the slices on cookie sheets, and sprinkled on a tiny bit of garlic powder for flavor.

See that tinfoil on the left? Those are the pieces that came off of the burritos I made and froze. As we ate them, I'd put the foil back in the drawer, figuring I'd use it later. I actually did! 

Now, I cooked these on 250 degrees for probably an hour or so. I didn't want them crispy like chips, since the dogs like them chewy. I flipped them a couple of times, and eventually called it a day. They looked like this when I gave up on them. *EDITED TO ADD* You'll want to cook them for more like 3 hours. If you don't, they get a little funky after a couple of days. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I let them cool a bit, and then dropped them all in a tupperware-type container. I'll use them within a few days, since they soften up as time goes on. I think the pups are happy. Don't you?

On to project two. I love having wonderful smells in my house. With a husband and 2 dogs, you can imagine what it COULD smell like in here if I let it get out of control. That being said, I love air freshener plug in things and candles. But, those can get expensive and supposedly have stuff in them that causes cancer. Whatever. Everything will kill you. But I'm determined to enjoy my Welcome Home/Autumn Harvest/Eucalyptus Blah-Blah until the zombies come and everything smells like ass.

So one day when cruising Pinterest, I found this tutorial for making your own smelly things. I didn't take pictures, because I was destroying several of them before getting it right (aka letting the husband patiently remove the wick). There are pictures on the site, but you don't really need them. Take the wick thing out, empty the glass part and rinse it out. Pour in your choice of essential oil (I used eucalyptus), about 1/3 full, more if you want a longer lasting or more concentrated scent, and top it with water. Not too full or it will spill when you put the wick back in. And voila. Done. 

Verdict? I used only 1/3 oil and 2/3 water, but it ran out quickly and didn't really smell. The next time I used more like 1/2 oil and 1/2 water, and it smelled great for a few days. I still smell it when I walk by, but it's not as strong. The oil was a bit old, so maybe that's why it's weak. Anyway, it was cheaper than buying new ones, and less likely to kill me, supposedly. 

Rule #32 of Zombieland: Enjoy the little things.

No more car payments!

As of Friday, my car is paid off! This is such a freeing feeling, but one I never hope to experience again. Car loans have been the bane of my existence for years. I remember the feeling of buying my first new car, and it was brand new. Ordered from the dealership and everything. But I also remember the $300+ payment. And then I decided a few years into it that I needed a small SUV, so I got my new baby. And a $365 monthly payment. Ugh.

However, I did get a good deal on my car. It was a "used" 2006, bought at the end of the model year. I saved at least $5-6k over a brand new one. It also had some add-ons that didn't come on the base model. See, I wasn't a total money moron!

But now, 5 years later, I am so happy to have it paid off. But looking back, if I had saved the money and paid cash, I could have saved myself close to $4k in interest.

Lessons learned and tips for the future:

• Pay cash. If you can't afford the whole thing, come up with the most you can to avoid having to finance too much. 
• Do your research. Fortunately (and unfortunately) car dealers have a LOT of flexibility on pricing. Never pay sticker price. I like Edmunds for car buying information. There are dozens of articles to help you decide how much to pay, and how to get the best deal. 
• Do your research (again). You want a reliable vehicle that will last you several years and fits your lifestyle now and a few years down the road. If you know you want a whole herd of children in the next couple of years, don't buy a sporty coupe. It will work for 1 or 2 kids, but then you'll have to get rid of it for something bigger. Hopefully not a minivan. I have a particular hatred for the minivan, but that is a whole separate book. Check out Consumer Reports and Edmunds for reviews. 
• Don't buy new. I know everyone wants a shiny new car, but it is SUCH a waste! You can get a year-old car for thousands less, and it may never have even been driven yet. 
• Keep an open mind. Don't get your heart set on one particular car. If the salesman knows you want it, you'll never get a good deal. Don't let the bastards get you down!

Good luck, and drive safe. Remember Rule #4 of Zombieland. Wear Seat Belts.